chivalry is not dead

So a new mom friend and I were chatting the other day. She lived in Moscow for a few years, left for a few months to have her baby, then returned about a month ago. She mentioned that she really experiences now the chivalry of Russian men. She always has someone volunteer to help her with her stroller on stairs etc. I know I have mentioned all this before. Men will literally run ahead of me to help with a door when I am out with the stroller.

Thought I would share this little story from a recent arrival.

So I met this woman - she has a 3 year old and a 20 month old. And she is 7 months pregnant. She realized one evening that she was short an ingredient she needed for dinner. No problem - she lives across the street from a grocery store! Now - to cross most busy streets you need to go through an underground passageway - a perihod - down stairs, across, up stairs. She gets to the store- where 3 year old promptly knocks a bag of sugar on the floor and it explodes. She tries to offer to pay for it, but doesnt speak much Russian, so feels frustrated at her inability to communicate, and a little annoyed with the three year old. They make their purchases, and head out.

Now - let me set the scene for you - because this is where the story gets good - it is well below 0F out - 5:30 ish in the evening - getting dark - a pregnant woman going down a flight of icy stairs in the snow - holding the umbrella stroller with the baby, 3 year old holding her hand - grocery bags on the stroller, she has her wallet, keys, passports in her backpack (she usually has it on the stroller, but put it on so she could hang the grocery bags on the stroller).

OK - can you picture the scene?

now - she is midway down the flight of stairs and suddenly she feels something - she turns - a man has unzipped her backpack and is rummaging through it!!

HEY! she says - EXCUSE ME!

He stops. Gives her The Shrug.**

then - dear reader, I kid you not - He offers to help her carry the stroller the rest of the way down!!

Ha! Chivalry is not dead!

(she declined his kind offer)

**The Shrug - do you know what I am talking about? - certainly not just a Russian thing I am sure, but I do see it often here. Raise the brows, raise the shoulders, turn down the corners of the mouth, tilt head to the side, raise palms up a bit. There you have it. The "you can't blame me for trying" shrug. The "what could I do - I saw an opportunity and tried to take it" shrug. The "wouldn't you think less of me if I didnt just try to take advantage of you" shrug. The "I'm only sorry I got caught" shrug. you get the picture.

example - I was crossing the street the other day. It is above ground - with a cross walk, and a police officer with his big black and white stripe baton. He waves me to cross. An approaching car doesn't stop. The officer waves his baton (almost striking the car's hood) and yells "dont you see this woman with the stroller?!" the driver stops and gives me The Shrug.

I'd like to make a toast. . .

OK - well two funny things happened -

Leo and I went out to dinner last night. There were very few people in the restaurant. While we were waiting to order a party of 2 couples came in and sat at a table near us. Leo gets annoyed at me because I eavesdrop - but really, these were speaking russian so I wasn't paying much attention (now another couple on the other side of us, with an older, quite short, english speaking man with a young, tall, russian supermodel looking woman intrigued me). So after a while I glance over and it looks like one of the men is giving a toast - they are sitting with their wine glasses held high while one guy is talking . . . and talking . . .. and talking. I mention to Leo - I think that guy is giving a toast. He motions for me to be quiet so I work on my salad.

After a few minutes he shakes his head and laughs. Wanna know what that guys toast was? he asks. Of course!

So here is a rough translation:

I have money. A lot of money. Really I am quite rich. I like to spend my money on things I like. Incredible things like trips, clothes and nice restaurants. I feel pity for those people with a lot of money like me, but who dont know how to spend it as well as I do.


Nice toast, mister, incredible really.

After we left we were walking home and decided to step into a starbucks for a bit. It was quite busy but we found a seat easy enough. Near us was a group of young people drinking their drinks and chatting. In walks a friend of theirs with a huge box from Dunkin Donuts. He sets it on the table and they all dig in.

So Leo and I agree that bringing food from one restaurant into another is uncool. Not sure on this one if it is a Russian thing, or just young people being young people.

Speaking of Dunkin Donuts -

Kids and I were walking on Arbat the other day. Arbat is a historic pedestrian street in Moscow. When I came for a visit in 1999 it was full of souvenirs, crafts, vendors selling all manner of goods from kiosks. I didnt even notice the storefronts lining the street. Then the vendors were cleared out and only artists were allowed to sell on arbat. When we arrived 2 years ago Arbat the street had portrait artists, booksellers further down and other artists selling their paintings and the souvenir shops inside the stores lining the street.

The artists and booksellers are still there, as well as a few souvenir shops lining the street. But yesterday, as we were walking - I counted 2 Starbucks, 2 Dunkin Donuts, Hard Rock Cafe, Texas Chicken (?), Cinnebon, 2 moo moos (ok, this is a russian place - but a cow themed cafeteria style restaurant). . . . . Arbat is becoming the food court of some small town american mall.

Creative Advertising.

There are a lot of funny advertising practices here.

Aside from the usual guys who stand at the top of the perihods handing out ads for tattoos, here are a few of my favorites:

One is for a bank - Trust Bank - the spokes person is Bruce Willis. There is a huge billboard with his picture on it - he is saying "Trust - Like me but a bank." I dont know - Bruce Willis doesnt exactly make me think of Trust. Not that I distrust him, but I think if that is the image you are going for, maybe Tom Hanks. Now I trust Tom.


Here is another odd advertising - on our street there is a Porsche parked on the street - often double parked. (can you see the red car in the photo?) There is a sign on top advertising a car wash. There is a man who sits in the car all day - sometimes sleeping, sometimes reading a book. All day, every day. Some job, eh?


My very favorite. My loving spouse found this one for me. In his office building there is an ad for an internet news site. It is a big sign with the letters WTF and a translation along the bottom. They translate WTF as "what's happening" in Russian. Uhm. WTF is NOT what is happing. sorry. Do I need to translate? WTF, for those not in the know is What The Fruck (but not fruck, if you know what I mean). File this one under unfortunate mistranslation - you'ld think someone in the advertising department would know and would say something?

Holidays

OK, once again trying to post more. Not sure how I got busy - seems like I am always doing something or other, and after awhile I just got tired of the computer. Anyway - here is my attempt at posting a bit more!

Holidays were great. Too short time in Portland, Seattle. Partly because we lost 2 days stuck in Amsterdam due to the weather and flight cancellations. It is a long story, but basically Moscow said our flight from amsterdam to seattle was cancelled when it really wasnt, but we had to go get our luggage in amsterdam because it wasnt checked to seattle and ended up missing our connection - had to wait 2 days. No worries though. I got a hotel and it wasnt too bad. I am thankful I was able to do that. If I was travelling alone I would have waited in the 8 hour lines and tried to get an earlier flight. No way I was going to wait in the long lines travelling alone with 3 kids.

Anyway. We made it there and spent the 2 weeks with family, and driving between portland and seattle I think 4 times. That took up a lot of time.

I didnt go to target, trader joes. I didnt see ANY friends. NONE! just spent time with family or in the car taking Maria to appointments, which was ok. That was the priority anyway.

Before we left moscow we went through the annual process of renegotiating our lease for our apartment. This year the landlord decided to raise the rent so we started looking at other places, turned out to be unnecessary as I married a fierce negotiator.

When we returned to Moscow, however, I went to take a hot shower and somehow there was no hot water in the bathroom. great. Yesterday afternoon Leo went to the gym and once he left suddenly water poured from the light fixture in the kitchen. Simply poured. I filled my biggest pot 5 or 6 times before it slowed. Then suddenly water started pouring from a crack in the middle of the ceiling. Then the electricity went out. In that moment I wished we moved. After Leo came home we flipped some switches and lights came back on. Then the plumber came - he literally chopped through the upstairs apartment door and broke into the apartment as no one was home (the apartment is empty and being remodeled). Turns out the workers had opened a pipe to something or other and instead of capping for the weekend the stuffed a rag in it. hmmm. It ended up spraying water all over the place - and thus the leak.

Leo also figured out that when you turn the water in the bathroom sink on hot, it runs cold, but the makes the shower water hot - turn off the sink faucet and the shower water gets cold. weird. Such a russian-y thing I think it took a russian to figure it out.

Anyway Leo was the hero of the day and figured it all out!

For now we just have to run the water in the sink when we want to take a hot shower.

Self Help

So a few weekends ago I took the kids to the mall. The big Metropolis Mall - "just like being in America" as my kids say.

I am usually not a mall person, but once in a while it is nice to "be in America".

Anyway it is about a 25 minute metro ride. Leo had to work so kids and I went on our own. I try and gussy up a bit for ventures out. I wore a bit of makeup and all.

For some reason the Metro was PACKED - standing room only packed - so kids and I stood by the door - everything was going well, Natasha was quiet in the stroller, M and P were just standing on either side. No one was pretending to be a surfer while the metro rumbled along, etc. Kids were actually really quiet, they usually count the stops - can I check the Map? how many more stops? look mom, we can that that train instead? what does that say? etc.

A woman, pressed her way through the crowd, and starts chatting with me in Russian, then she presses a book into my hands. hmmm, ok. I tell her in russian "I am sorry I dont read Russian well" as I try to hand the book back.

She is surprised I dont speak russian - but still insists I take it, she says that she too has 2 children, and that one of them is a "sportsman" in America. Then bustles off as the doors open at the next station.

ok

I put the book in my bag and we continue on.

Later, I remember the book and show Leo.

It is a self help book.

So, - how bad off do you have to seem for a stranger to hand you a self help book on the metro?

halloween in moscow

This article pretty much sums it up. Halloween in Moscow is a night club holiday. Sexy Nurses and Vampires, partying all night. Halloween is a night club holiday. I even saw an ad for a "sexy politician" party at a local nightclub. hmmm.

Not exactly what I think of as Halloween.

Halloween is my all time favorite holiday.

I love the time of year - fall in the air - all the children outside, trick or treating (yes, my non-americans, we go door to door and collect candy). My kids and I dont even care about the candy. well, not that much. We care the night of at least, but usually the day after halloween leo takes the kids candy to work and it disappears. The kids have never asked about it.

The fun is in the process.

Picking your costume - and no - not everyone dresses as bleeding zombies - bumble bees, butterfies, ladybugs, firefighter, cowboy, pumpkin, ninja, cat, are all costumes that I think of, at least for the elementary school set. Of course as kids get older, some veer toward the scary, but that too is part of the fun (except I cant stand those masks that bleed - do you know the ones I mean? ugh!) - I admit I decorate the yard for halloween. I had purple bat nights, and cute pumpkin lights around the front porch. Kids and I usually carved at least one pumpkin each.

The best part, if you live in a neighborhood (or know someone who does), going trick or treating. All the neighbors and kids are out walking, you have a chance to meet and greet neighbors you otherwise wouldnt ever talk to. Everyone is friendly. When we lived on Bainbridge Island, few people lived in neighborhoods, so the city would close the main street to cars and kids and parents would walk and all the shops would give out candy. It was a great social occasion.

In America, Halloween is a children's holiday. Sure adults party and I am sure the night clubs have trampy costume night and people dress as sexy politicians (?), etc. But at least we also have the family aspect too.

Anyway, Happy Halloween!

We are throwing a little party for expats and Russians alike, most with kids, but not all. My kids have decorated the apartment with bats, ghosts and pumpkins. I admit I bought a few fake spiders to leave around the apartment, and have renamed all the party food (hey - part of the fun!) I plan on serving. Check my food blog later in the week for the menu.

Yikes!

So I have been thinking for a while what "special" think I can do with the son. I am home pretty much all day with baby, I am M's brownie group leader, what what about P?

What interest do we have in common?

I invited him to come run with me at the gym. When I asked him, there was a long pause. . . . . "uhm, ok, I guess, but try to think of something better." M overheard - "Mom! I want to run with you!" and sure enough she came with me sat AND sun! P went with Leo on sun afternoon.

Back to the drawing board.

What would work for us, for our situation, specifically our lack of transportation, living in the center, kids getting home from school late, sort of situation.

Then it dawned on me - I am a genius - a GENIUS I TELL YOU!

Dinner!

I put P in charge of Sunday Dinner! phew!

He liked the idea.

I told him - he had to pick a healthy, balanced dinner, with available ingredients, and NO REPEATS! (otherwise we would have pizza every night!).

He ran and picked up my America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook (picked that one because, as he noticed, it said "foolproof recipes") :-)

He poured over different options.

Finally decided on Pineapple Chicken Bake with Coconut Rice and Carrot and Cucumber Slices.

He was excited about it!

Previously, our Sunday Dinners pretty much consisted of frozen dumplings. I know - there are some good ones out there, but I was getting tired of them, and frankly I always feel somewhat guilty preparing a frozen dinner. But Sundays I hated cooking. We usually spent the day walking around, or cleaning the house, trying to get ready for the week, and I just despised having to deal with dinner on that particular day.

Problem solved.

Put P in charge!

He picks the meal, he has to make the shopping list and plan the timing (like if beans need to soak or something), he reads the recipe and does most of the work - I supervise and take care of any tricky work.

I told you, I am a genius!

Part of the plan was to also have him blog about it, I was going to have him add it here, but instead started a food blog.

For a while I was thinking "gee, someone should write a blog with recipes, and grocery shopping vocab/help/tips, local restaurant reviews, etc - why doesnt someone do that?"

well, be the change, right.

So I started one.

Here it is, hope you like it:

http://eatmoscow.blogspot.com/

with a special Sunday installment written by my own Chef Peanut Butter.