clipping coupons

So we spent the holiday weekend (some kind of labor day - I can't keep track of all these russian holidays - I do know next weekend is Victory Day - May 9th) at a панционат (pansionat). OK - so a little background:

Back in Soviet Days every job was part of a larger Ministry - Education, Electrical, Construction, Metal, etc. Most Ministries had some kind of resort type place where people from all over Soviet Union in that same industry would go for their vacation. (Some Ministries also had their own summer camps for kids - but I will get to that story later). These were called Pansionat or also Hose of Relaxation - we dont really have an equivelant to the one we went to - a resort with a "medical center" - you have have some kind of procedures done as well. Not really clear what they were aside from massages, ultrasounds, aroma therapy I understood . . . . .

I think it had something to do with a Soviet control of where people vacation etc. Now, at each company there would be some person in charge of handing out the vouchers- or little piece of paper (they love their little pieces of paper!) which was your pass to go to said resort. With me so far? You go to person, plan your little vacay - person gives you your voucher (or maybe not!). Anywho, some industries had more money than others, right? so some vacation resorts were better than others. Some on the Black Sea, some newer construction, etc. So people would trade or buy with someone from another industry (or the person in charge of the vouchers would sell them on the side).

So we went to a place for the weekend about 3 hrs drive south of Moscow that used to be a Pansionat for people who worked for the Russian NASA (something space related anyway). Here is the link to where we went.

Let me start by saying we had a really nice time! The weather was fabulous! We wanted to get out of the city and spend time as a family and that is exactly what we did. The place was clean, comfortable, very child friendly, and out in the country. We went with another family with 2 small children. They were very nice. The place itself was so child friendly - there were so many kids there - every table had at least one highchair.

Would I recommend it to other expat families?

uhhm. maybe not so much.

You really need a Russian speaker if you go. And a willingness to throw your hands up and just go with the flow. It was very Soviet in that there were a lot of rules. and a lot of little pieces of paper.

We had to bring our passports and register when we arrived - no big deal.

You get these little coupons when you arrive for medical treatments. Now - to be fair - Leo was not at all into it and so he didnt have any motivation to look into and translate what the options were - but we were told that all massage options were fully booked and not available. Ok - no problem. We arent really massage people anyway. I didnt want to try anything on my own lest I ended up with a colon cleanse.

The place comes with meals. We got a little coupon for them. They have a main cafeteria and 3 or 4 little bars. The free food is only at the cafeteria, only at specific times. Breakfast was from 9 to 10, lunch from 1:30 to 2:30 and dinner 6:30 to 7:30. At 9 they served Kefir (like buttermilk - a sour milk drink). I sort of felt like I wass in a nursing home. It was a bit of a challenge being tied to meal times and not having any flexability, but like I said - throw your hands up and go with the flow.

We found out that the first three days you ate what they served you, no choices, but from the fourth day onward you could choose from 3 or 4 options. Kids were a little dismayed, but they were troopers and ended up eating what was served. Breakfast included - kasha (usually buckwheat), salad bar (carrot, tomatoes, and cabbage - sometimes pickles or crinkle cut canned beets) a slice of ham, and, I kid you not, a fried breaded chicken breast and canned peas. Kids thought it was funny to have dinner for breakfast. A lot of food! there was also a choice of tea or coffee - same choice for the kids - no water, no juice, no milk (although the server did bring milk for natasha when I asked). Not typical russian breakfast - whih leo said growing up he had kasha or a piece of ham with butter on it (!) or eggs. Lunch was salad bar (usually a mayo based salad and pickles) soup (which, whatever you say about russian food, they do good soups), and some kind of meat and potatoes, compote for the beverage (fruit boiled with sugar - so it is kind of sweet juice with pieces of fruit floating around). Dinner was salad bar (same options as above) and a meat and potatoes dish - usually some kind of meat or kasha stuffed inside another meat (ground liver inside chicken - bulgar rolled inside pork - then fried) and some pastry dessert and tea or coffee. Not the healthiest of food! It was ok - i wont say it was bad, - I guess moo moo quality if you know moscow - maybe school cafeteria quality, although they served plenty. We were there 4 days so the 4th day kids were excited to finally get a choice - eggs with ham for breakfast, and big meatball with mashed potatoes for lunch, we left before dinner.

Just as a side note - they actually translated the menu - an option for breakfast was "boiled language with mushroom sauce" did you guess it? hahahaha it is tongue! - the same word in Russian - as in "what is your mother tongue?" I often wonder at the general lack of proofreading when things like public signs and menus are translated. You would think someone would know someone who speaks english to give it a quick once over - but that is another blog post!

ok - so that was the food situation - not bad, but there was a complicated form for selecting your meals and you had to sit at an assigned table. The food at the bars was pretty cheap, although pretty limited in selection.

The kids really looked forward to the pool - they had a big lap pool - 1.8 meters deep, a fairly large kids pool with a slide and fountain and a large bubble pool (looked like a big hot tub, but the water was tepid warm, not hot). So we get ready to go to the pool and the friend we were there with mentions to Leo that we need to see the doctor and get a permission slip signed before we can go to the pool. He had gone earlier and said the doctor looked at his feet and then stamped and signed the little piece of paper. Leo took P and M (natasha was asleep). The doctor didnt look at Leo, but looked at the kids stomachs and backs and signed the papers. Later Natasha and I went and she didnt even look at us. Not sure what the point was - I assume they were looking for rashes or fungus or something, but one would think they would give everyone the same exam. Anyway - with all out little pieces of paper in hand we tromp to the pool where we are informed that we must all wear swim caps in the pool - even the baby. Luckily - they sold caps there for around 100 rubles ($3)

So - we spent most of our time on the playground outside, or in the pool, and also shuffling like nursing home residents to and from meals. we ate, we relaxed, we played. mission accomplished.

Oh yeah -the summer camp story. So Leo tells this story (I swear we could be married 50 years and I will never hear all the stories!) about how when he was little, his mom sent him to camp. Basically everyone worked and had a month off of work over the summer, but kids had 3 months off school. So what to do with all the unsupervised kids? send them to camp! Now, as I mentioned, different ministries operated camps. Unfortunately for little lyova, his mom worked in some kinds of electrical installation in new construction. They didnt have a camp. So his mom somehow got a hold of vouchers from another ministry for camp (either she knew someone, or paid someone, or knew someone who knew someone who owed someone a favor . . .I dont know). Anyway all is grand until little lyova gets in a fight at camp. They decide to contact his mom. Whose kid is this, anyway? whoops! she is not even part of this ministry! bye bye little Lyova! dont come back next year! I am sure his mom was pleased with him.